movie Glossary
Supporting Sweat
Whenever a main character is in a steam room, a supporting character will have to enter the steam room while still wearing a suit and a tie. This will lead to the usual sweating, fidgeting, loosening of the tie, etc. FRANK MOUTON, Sacramento, CA.
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Fantastic Mr. Fox (PG)
Some artists have a way of riveting your vision with the certitude of what they do. This has nothing to do with subject or style. It's inexplicable. Andy Warhol and Grandma Moses. The spareness of Bergman or the Fellini circus. Wes Anderson is like that. There's nothing consistent about his recent work but its ability to make me go zooinng! What else do "The Darjeeling Limited" and "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" have in common?
The Road (R)
Note: I first saw "The Road" in September at the Toronto Film Festival, as one of eight films I saw in three days. I wrote a draft of a review at the time and sent it. That review accidentally found its way into sight in October, long before the film was scheduled to open. I yanked it offline as quickly as I could. I saw the movie a second time at a press screening on Oct. 27 in Chicago. I see festival films again whenever I have the chance. I find the second viewing makes the good ones better, and the bad ones worse. Such is the case with "The Road."
Old Dogs (PG)
"Old Dogs" is stupefying dimwitted. What were John Travolta and Robin Williams thinking of? Apparently their agents weren't perceptive enough to smell the screenplay in its advanced state of decomposition, but wasn't there a loyal young intern in the office to catch them at the elevator and whisper, "You've paid too many dues to get involved with such crap at this stage in your careers."
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (PG-13)
The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.
Gentlemen Broncos (PG-13)
As an amateur collector of the titles of fictional novels in movies, I propose that this one has the worst of all time: Yeast Lords: The Bronco Years. You say you smiled? Me, too, and there are precious few smiles and laughs in "Gentlemen Broncos," which is not a very good movie title, either, although it might work for an X-rated film. The author of Yeast Lords is a teenager named Benjamin, who writes science fiction and idolizes a famous sci-fi novelist named Dr. Ronald Chevalier as much as I once, and still do, admire the Good Doctor Asimov.
Q. I agree wholeheartedly with your dislike of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon." I think Hollywood should be ashamed for exploiting not only this genre, but kids all across the world for greed.
Nosferatu (No MPAA rating) (1922)
To watch F.W. Murnau's "Nosferatu" (1922) is to see the vampire movie before it had really seen itself. Here is the story of Dracula before it was buried alive in cliches, jokes, TV skits, cartoons and more than 30 other films. The film is in awe of its material. It seems to really believe in vampires.
If we had the British Constitution, Oprah Winfrey would be our queen.
It isn't an elected position. You're born into it.
You have no legislative power, but the leaders of both political parties consult with you and advise you of their plans.
TELLURIDE, Colo. Jimmy Stewart came all the way up here to the mountains last weekend to honor a man who has been dead for almost 20 years. As you might have expected, most of the applause was for Stewart.
Everybody hates it when they don't explain everything that happened by the time the movie is over. What we need at the end is not open-endedness but clarity, loose-end tying-up, closure. We need more movies like "Psycho" (unfortunately Simon Oakland has passed, but Larry King is still with us) and "Mulholland Dr." -- movies that take a little time to explain exactly what happened so we're not left feeling stupid all the way home. You know what they say: The difference between a comedy and a tragedy is where you end the story. Well, the same goes for the ending: The difference between a good ending and a bad ending is how good the ending is. Here are eleven of the most outrageously unsatisfactory ambiguous endings in movie history: Fight Club at Ten: A Love StoryLet's fix those "ambiguous" endings, shall we? Happy 5th B-day, Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule! Helvetica is the movie font Blow-up: Selling Sarah's shorts Star Trek 2009: Pieces of flare! (Rescued, restored) Rescued, restored: My best of 2008 The arrival of The Prisoner, then and now: "We Want Information!" Hey, Mr. Fox: Who's the audience? Who cares? Is it time for best movies of the decade already? Rescued, reposted: Best films of 2007: The movie A Serious Man: Kafka in Minnesota
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The Opening Shots Project Index
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I sense it's about time to share some of my thoughts about television and movie critics, myself, and the past, present and future of my corner of the critics-on-TV adventure. My friends A .O. Scott and Michael Phillips are well into their first season as the new co-hosts of "At the Movies." Richard Roeper just announced he will be streaming reviews on his web site, and they will re-run a week later on the Starz cable channel. I wish them all good fortune. And good health.
Call for nominations! Chose the winner! Details.
The limerick's a form metronomical,
For the telling of jokes anatomical.
Yet the best one's I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And yet clean ones so seldom are comical.
Auden, that very good man
Said a limerick need not merely scan.
But put up a struggle
And bend itself double
To be decent, and fail at the plan.
It was the opening day of the Disney-MGM studios in Orlando. The stars were there with their children. There was an official luncheon at the Brown Derby, modeled after the legendary Hollywood eatery. I was beside myself. I was in a booth sitting next to Jack Brickhouse, the voice of the Chicago Cubs. A man walked over and introduced himself. "Bob Elliott." Oh. My. God. Bob, of Bob and Ray.
Larry J. Kolb is a spy who came in from the cold. Retiring after 20 years in CIA covert operations, he penned Overworld: The Life and Times of a Reluctant Spy. Then he did an investigation for the Department of Homeland Security that led to his 2007 best-seller, America at Night: The True Story of Two Rogue CIA Operatives, Homeland Security Failures, Dirty Money, and a Plot to Steal the 2004 U.S. Presidential Election. Now he goes on assignment for Roger Ebert's Journal, using skills developed in the field.
thumbs
Linked here are reviews in recent months for which I wrote either 4 star or 3.5 star reviews. What does Two Thumbs Up mean in this context? It signifies that I believe these films are worth going out of your way to see, or that you might rent them, add them to your Netflix, Blockbuster or TiVo queues, or if they are telecast record them.
Gathered here in one convenient place are my recent reviews that awarded films Zero Stars, One-half Star, One Star, and One-and-a-half Stars. These are, generally speaking to be avoided. Sometimes I hear from readers who confess they are in the mood to watch a really bad movie on some form of video. If you are sincere, be sure to know what you're getting: A really bad movie.
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