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Obligatory Transformational Entrance Scene
After being an ugly duckling for three-quarters of the movie, the heroine inevitably turns up at the top of a monumental staircase, looking breathtakingly beautiful and regal, and descends the stairs trying her best to keep one of those "are they looking at poor little me?" looks on her face.
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Ebert Recommends

Jennifer's Body (R)
"Jennifer's Body" (R, 102 min.) The most popular girl in school (Megan Fox) is transformed into a fiend who eats the flesh of teenage boys. Not an assembly-line teen horror thriller; the film, with a script by Diablo Cody, has a gleeful relish. Three stars  (9/17/09)

Paris ()
 ()

The Exiles (No MPAA rating)
 (11/11/09)

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans (R)
"Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans"(R, 107 minutes) Werner Herzog stars Nicolas Cage in a dire portrait of a rapist, murderer, drug addict, corrupt cop and degenerate paranoid who is apprehensive about iguanas. It places this man in a devastated New Orleans not long after Hurricane Katrina. It makes no attempt to show that city of legends in a flattering light. And it gradually reveals itself as a sly comedy about a rather courageous man. Cage and Herzog were born to work together. Four stars  (11/18/09)

2012 (PG-13)
"2012" (PG-12, 158 minutes) The mother of all disaster movies (and the father, and the extended family) spends half an hour on obligatory ominous set-up scenes (scientists warn, strange events occur, prophets rant, and of course a family is introduced). Then it unleashes two hours of cataclysmic special events in which the earth is hammered relentlessly. This is fun. "2012" delivers what it promises, and will be, for its intended audience, one of the most satisfactory films of the year. Three and a half stars  (11/12/09)

Alien (R)
 (9/9/09)

Amelia (PG)
"Amelia" (PG, 111 minutes) Hilary Swank is an ideal embodiment of Amelia Earhart, who was strong, brave and true, and looked fabulous in a flight suit. The second person to fly solo across the Atlantic was a born feminist who pioneered aviation for women and wed George Putnam (Richard Gere) after informing him their marriage would have "dual controls." Well directed by Mira Nair with impeccably period details; an admirable film, if lacking in drama because Earhart's life was sand and happy. Three stars  (10/21/09)

Amreeka (PG-13)
 (9/17/09)

Antichrist (No MPAA rating)
"Antichrist" (Unrated, 105 minutes). A film containing shocking images of a man and a woman descending into an emotional hell after the death of their child. Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsborgh play He and She, cruelly struck by their loss, she turning it into guilt, he into blame. In a retreat to their cabin in a dark wood, they seem overcome by pain and madness, and Nature itself seems to have turned against them. Some admire the film, some loathe it, no one is indifferent. Written and directed by the Danish provocateur Lars on Trier. Three and a half stars.  (10/21/09)

Astro Boy (PG)
"Astro Boy" (PG, 94 minutes). Metro City orbits above an Earth buried in garbage. Its citizens are waited on hand and foot by robots, and things will get even better now that Toby's dad (Nicolas Cage) has invented the unlimited Blue Power. But the warmonger President (Donald Sutherland) snatches the dangerous Red Power, Toby dies in an accident, his memories are transferred by his dad into the little robot Astro Boy, and so on. Bright and peppy, with a nice moral and, best of all, no 3-D. Three stars  (10/21/09)

Big Fan (R)
"Big Fan" (R, 88 minutes). A surprisingly moving dramatic comedy, starring Patton Oswalt as an obsessive sports fan. He lives vicariously through his hero, a quarterback for the New York Giants, and after breaking through the pro-fan barrier, is beaten so badly he almost dies. This causes an emotional disconnect, because if the quarterback is suspended for long, the Giants may lose got the hated Philadelphia Eagles. A remorseless portrayal of a not uncommon American type. Three and a half stars.  (9/30/09)

Black Dynamite (R)
"Black Dynamite" (R, 90 minutes). A loving and expert modern retread of 1970s blaxploitation pictures, deliberately retro and un-PC, starring Michel Jai White as a one-man army at war with the drug mob and The Man. And when I say The Man, I'm including the climax in the Oval Office. Such pitch-perfect dialogue, costumes, music, fight choreography and cinematography that if you found it while cable surfing, you'd assume it was the real thing. When it's wrong, it's wrong on purpose and knows just knows what it's doing. Also starring Salli Richardson, Kym Whitley, Tommy Davidson, Mykelti Williamson, Bokeem Woodbine and Arsenio Hall. Three stars.  (10/13/09)

The Box (PG-13)
"The Box" (114 minutes, PG-13). A preposterous but never boring sci-fi movie where a mysterious stranger (Frank Langella) gives a couple (Cameron Diaz and James Marston) a box with a button on top, and tells them if they oust out they'll get $1 million in cash -- but someone unknown to them will die. Well, what would you do? And then the plot really gets wild. Stay way if you expect it to add up and make sense. You're entering…the Twilight Zone. Three stars.  (11/5/09)

Bright Star (PG)
"Bright Star" (PG, 119 minutes) Jane Campion's beautiful and wistful film shows John Keats and Fanny Brawne submerged blissfully in a love that exists almost entirely of their idealism. The great young poet and the younger girl who found his poetry difficult live in two halves of a tiny cottage in Hampstead and drown in nature and Romanticism, in a film with its own visual poetry. Abbie Cornish is entrancing as a determined seamstress who supports herself, which is more than Keats can do. Three and a half stars.  (9/23/09)

Bronson ()
"Bronson" (R, 92 minutes). He tells us he was born into a normal family. He doesn't blame his childhood or anything else for the way he turned out. Today Bronson is the UK's most famous prisoner and without any doubt its most violent. With a shaved head and a comic-opera mustache, he has repeated for 34 years behind bars the same scenario: Take a hostage, be beaten senseless. Tom Hardy brings a fearsome intensity to the role, in a portrait of unrelenting self-punishment, Three stars.  (10/28/09)

Capitalism: A Love Story (R)
"Capitalism: A Love Story" (R, 117 minutes). Michael Moore's latest doesn't suggest a solution for our economy, and is a little disorganized, but out contains chilling explanations of "peasant insurance" and the Wall Street gambling known as "derivatives." There is also awesome, long-forgotten footage of Franklin Roosevelt calling for a Second Bill of Rights. And first person testimony from victims of the meltdown. Three and a half stars.  (9/30/09)

Coco Before Chanel (PG-13)
"Coco Before Chanel" (PG-13, 110 minutes). The story of Gabrielle Chanel, from poor orphan girl to the brink of becoming the most influential figure of 20th century fashion. Audrey Tautou stars as an independent, strong-willed young woman who from behind the clouds of her cigarettes regards the world with unforgiving realism and stubborn ambition. Director Anne Fontaine avoids any effort to make Coco Chanel nice, or soft, or particularly sympathetic. That has the effect of making her just that much more interesting. Three and a half stars  (10/7/09)

The Damned United (R)
"The Damned United" (R, 97 minutes). The rise and sudden fall of an enigmatic English legend, the soccer coach Brian Clough. He guided underdog Derby County to victory, was beloved, then switched to its hated rival Leeds United and began a losing streak so sudden he was out after 44 days. Not a sports movie, but one about a fascinating man. Michael Sheen again embodies a British icon, as in Tony Blair ("The Queen") and David Frost ("Frost/Nixon"). With crucial supporting performances by Timothy Spall and Colm Meaney. Screenwriter Peter Morgan and producer Andy Harries were involved in all three; Tom Hooper directs. Three and a half stars.  (10/13/09)

Disgrace (No MPAA rating)
"Disgrace" (Unrated, adults, 118 minutes). A white Cape Town professor is fired for misbehavior, and goes to live with his daughter on her remote farm. Here events take place that confront him with the fundamental changes in post-apartheid South Africa. Not a feel-good parable, but a painful, challenging examination of deep feelings, magnificently acted by John Malkovich, Jessica Haines as his daughter, and Eriq Ebouaney as her African farm manager. Based on the Booker Prize-winning novel by Nobel Laureate J.M. Coetzee. Four stars.  (9/23/09)

Disney's A Christmas Carol (PG)
"A Christmas Carol" (PG, 95 minutes) An exhilarating visual experience that proves for the third time Robert Zemeckis is one of the few directors who knows what he's doing with 3-D. The story that Dickens wrote in 1838 remains timeless, and if it's supercharged here with Scrooge swooping the London streets as freely as Superman, well, once you let ghosts into a movie there's room for anything. In motion-capture animation, Jim Carrey does the movements and voice of Ebenezer Scrooge, never thinner, never more stooped, never more bitter. The A-list cast also includes Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Bob Hoskins, Robin Wright Penn and Cary Elwes. Four stars  (11/5/09)

An Education (PG-13)
"An Education" (PG-13, 100 minutes) A 16-year-old girl (Carey Mulligan) is the target of a sophisticated seduction by a 35-year-old man (Peter Sarsgaard). Could have been shabby or painful, but the luminous Mulligan makes it romantic and wonderfully entertaining. The romance isn't so much with him as with the possibilities within her, the future before her, and the joy of being alive. Sarsgaard plays a smoothie who bewitches her protective parents. He's a dirty rotten scoundrel, but a real charmer. With Mulligan, a star is born. Four stars.  (10/21/09)

Good Hair (PG-13)
"Good Hair" (PG-13, 95 minutes). Chris Rock hosts and narrates a warm funny documentary about the hair of black women. He quizzes a lot of celebs and visits beauty shops and the Atlanta headquarters of a hair products empire and a famous hair fashion show. The movie plunges into straighteners and extensions, but doesn't give equal time to natural hair styles, and has info about chemical straighteners that is years out of date. But he has a good feeling, and is surprisingly entertaining. Three stars.  (10/7/09)

Harmony and Me ()
 (10/28/09)

The Horse Boy (No MPAA rating)
"The Horse Boy" (Unrated, 94 minutes). A four-year-old Texas boy with autism has angry seizures and isn't potty-trained. His parents fly with him to Mongolia, drive nine hours into the steppes, and then journey by horseback to a sacred mountain where he undergoes a miraculous cure at the hands of shamans. A remarkable story, but containing unanswered questions. Three stars.  (11/4/09)

The House of the Devil (R)
"The House of the Devil" (R, 93 minutes). A perky college student (Jocelin Donahue) takes a babysitting job in a Gothic house way, way down at the end of a long, long road in the middle of a dark, dark forest. Her employers (Tom Noonan and Mary Woronov turn out not to have a baby after all, but only his aged mother, who shouldn't be disturbed in her bedroom upstairs while they enjoy a night out to observe the eclipse of the Moon. Three stars  (11/11/09)

The Informant! (R)
 (9/17/09)

The Invention of Lying (PG-13)
"The Invention of Lying" (PG-13, 99 minutes). In its amiable, quiet, way, a remarkably radical comedy about a world where everyone always tells the truth. When Ricky Gervais discovers he can lie, this gives him incredible power. Jennifer Garner plays the great beauty who informs him truthful hat he's short and fat and not an ideal genetic match. He agrees. Then he discovers by accident a suggestion that inspires the joy and gratitude from the entire world. Its implications are radical, but the movie is so well-mannered and laid back that it gets way with it. Three and a half stars.  (9/30/09)

Law Abiding Citizen (R)
"Law Abiding Citizen" (R, 122 minutes) is a thriller starring Jamie Foxx as a D.A. head to head with a serial killer--who commits all but one of his many murders while in prison, and in solitary for most of that time. The story is a classic locked room mystery: How does he set up such elaborate kills? Securely in solitary, he seems able to kill at a distance by ingenious means and with remarkable resources. With Colm Meaney, Bruce McGill, Leslie Bibb, Regina Hall and Viola Davis. Three stars.  (10/13/09)

The Men Who Stare at Goats (R)
"The Men Who Stare at Goats" (R, 93 minutes). A weirdly funny comedy that seriously claims to be based on an actual U.S. Army interest in using paranormal soldiers as a weapon. Ewan McGregor plays a reporter who encounters George Clooney, a "Jedi Warrior" graduate of these secret program; flashbacks show Jeff Bridges as an officer who seems very much like The Big Lebowski. Could they kill goats by staring? Well, if you can bend a spoon with your mind, why not a rifle? Three and a half stars  (11/4/09)

The Messenger (R)
"The Messenger" (R, 107 minutes) Two Army officers draw the hard duty of notifying the next of kin of a death in combat. Woody Harrelson plays the old hand at breaking the news. Ben Foster, plays the new man, wounded in combat in Iraq. He has a tendency to care about the people he's informing. Not Army policy, the veteran explains. You'll lose it if you let yourself care. With Samantha Morton as a new widow and Steve Buscemi as a father whose grief turns to anger. Directed by Oren Moverman, himself a combat veteran in the Israeli army. Three and a half stars  (11/18/09)

My One and Only (PG-13)
"My One and Only" (PG-13, 107 minutes). Appealing road comedy, set in the 1950s and inspired by a summer that set the course of George Hamilton's life. The film belongs to Renee Zellweger, who ditches a womanizing husband (Kevin Bacon) and hits the road with her sons (Logan Lerman and Mark Rendall) hoping to find a new husband to support them. Basically upbeat, but Zellweger lets sadness and love show through her display of pluck, and the strong supporting actors include David Koechner, who gives young George some rather unexpected advice about women. Three and a half stars  (9/2/09)

New York, I Love You (R)
"New York, I Love You" (R, 104 minutes). Eleven directors, ten eighth-minute segments plus transitions, three dozen actors, and an anthology of shirt stories about New Yorkers. I suspect the title should be pronounced with a wry shake of the head, as in, "oh, you kid." The film assembles a collection of characters, who find that eight minutes is quite enough to make an impression, as so many New Yorkers would agree. Three stars.  (10/14/09)

9 (PG-13)
"9" (PG-13, 79 minutes). A humanoid little rag doll comes to life, and ventures fearfully into the devastation of a bombed-out cityscape. This figure, named "9," meets his similar predecessors #1 through #8, and they find themselves in battle against a Transformer-like red-eyed monster called the Beast. This provides a pretext for an apocalyptic battle that is visually more interesting than, but as relentless as, similar all-action-all-the-time movies. This is a disappointment. By Shane Acker, Oscar-nominated for his 2006 that inspired it. Three stars  (9/9/09)

Paranormal Activity (R)
"Paranormal Activity" (R, 96 minutes) an ingenious little horror film, so well made it's truly scary, that arrives claiming it's the real thing. Micah Sloat and Katie Featherston, a San Deigo couple, been bothered by indications of paranormal activity in an upstairs bedroom. Micah's bright idea is to film in the house, leaving the video camera running as a silent sentinel while they sleep. Like any man with a new toy, he becomes obsessed with this notion -- the whole point, for him, isn't Katie's fear but his film. After one big scare, she asks him incredulously, did you actually go back to pick up your camera? Flawlessly acted, eerie realistic. Three and a half stars  (10/7/09)

Paris (R)
"Paris" (R, 128 minutes). Filmmaker Cedric Klapisch's symphonic tribute to the city he loves, with each character a movement. Not a travelogue with beauty shots, however, but set in very specific places. It's unusual for an episodic film to involve us deeply in individual lives; we're genuinely curious about what will happen to these people next. Starring Juliette Binoche, Romain Duris, Fabrice Luchini, Albert Dupontel, and Francois Cluzet--all familiar faces. Three and a half stars.  (9/23/09)

Pirate Radio (R)
 (11/11/09)

Precious (R)
"Precious" (R, 109 minutes). School is an ordeal of mocking cruelty for a fat teenager, and home is worse. Precious avoids looking at people, hardly ever speaks, is nearly illiterate, is pregnant. One of her teachers (Paula Patton) and a postal worker (Mariah Carey) see something in her, or simply react to her obvious pain. They try to coax her out of her shell. She's not stupid, but feels defeated. Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe gives a powerful performance in the title role, and Mo'Nique is frighteningly effective as her abusive mother. Directed by Lee Daniels, based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire. Four stars.  (11/4/09)

The Providence Effect (PG)
"The Providence Effect" (PG, 92 minutes). Providence-St. Mel's Catholic High School, on Chicago's troubled West Side, has placed 100% of its graduates in colleges for three decades. This documentary charts its history and approach, and is impressive as a testimonial but doesn't probe deeply and leaves questions unanswered. Three stars.  (9/23/09)

Radical Disciple: The Story of Father Pfleger (No MPAA rating)
"Radical Disciple: The Story of Father Pfleger" (Unrated, 58 minute). Documentary about the controversial Chicago priest who is an outspoken social activist and reformer. Often in hot water with his superiors, he is arguably the most beloved white person among the city's African-Americans. He's has transformed his St. Sabina's parish on the south side, while after 28 years he has long outstayed the archdiocese's top term limit of 12 years. Provides an interesting portrait of his life and career. Three stars  (8/26/09)

Rashomon (No MPAA rating)
 ()

How pleasant to meet Mr. Lear!
The limerick's a form metronomical,

I'd like you to meet your best friend
It was the opening day of the Disney-MGM studios in Orlando. The stars were there with their children. There was an official luncheon at the Brown Derby, modeled after the legendary Hollywood eatery. I was beside myself. I was in a booth sitting next to Jack Brickhouse, the voice of the Chicago Cubs. A man walked over and introduced himself. "Bob Elliott." Oh. My. God. Bob, of Bob and Ray.

The great American documentary
Today, fifteen years after I first saw it, I believe "Hoop Dreams" is the great American documentary. No other documentary has ever touched me more deeply. It was relevant then, and today, as inner city neighborhoods sink deeper into the despair of children murdering children, it is more relevant.
thumbs
recent Two Thumbs Up® reviews
Linked here are reviews in recent months for which I wrote either 4 star or 3.5 star reviews. What does Two Thumbs Up mean in this context? It signifies that I believe these films are worth going out of your way to see, or that you might rent them, add them to your Netflix, Blockbuster or TiVo queues, or if they are telecast record them.

the Your Movie Sucks™ files
Gathered here in one convenient place are my recent reviews that awarded films Zero Stars, One-half Star, One Star, and One-and-a-half Stars. These are, generally speaking to be avoided. Sometimes I hear from readers who confess they are in the mood to watch a really bad movie on some form of video. If you are sincere, be sure to know what you're getting: A really bad movie.
in theaters
9
on dvd
Thirst  (11/17)
Star Trek  (11/17)
The Limits of Control  (11/17)
Humpday  (11/17)
The Exiles  (11/17)
Downhill Racer  (11/17)
Bruno  (11/17)
Up  (11/10)
Orphan  (10/27)
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs  (10/27)
Angels and Demons  (11/24)
Four Christmases  (11/24)
Funny People  (11/24)
A Christmas Tale  (12/1)
The Cove  (12/8)
ebert's dvd commentaries






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