rogerebert.com :: Reviews

The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans (R)

The man who stares at iguanas

Werner Herzog's "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans" creates a dire portrait of a rapist, murderer, drug addict, corrupt cop and degenerate paranoid who's very apprehensive about iguanas. It places him in a devastated New Orleans not long after Hurricane Katrina. It makes no attempt to show that city of legends in a flattering light. And it gradually reveals itself as a sly comedy about a snaky but courageous man.

The Messenger (R)

Don't touch them. Don't hug them.
Don't get involved in any way.

Maybe the only way to do it is by the book. You walk up to the house of a total stranger, ring the bell and inform them that their child has been killed in combat. When they open the door and see two uniformed men, they already know the news. Some collapse. Some won't let you finish before they beat their fists on your chest, crying at you to shut up, god-damn it, that can't be true. Some seem to fall into a form of denial, polite, inviting you in, as if this is a social situation.

Planet 51 (PG)

Little green men attacked
by tall, blond alien

In the 1950s Hollywood tradition, an alien spaceship landed on Earth, and then was surrounded fearfully by military troops. "Planet 51" is true to the tradition, but this time, the ship comes from Earth, and it lands on a planet inhabited by little green men. It's still the 1950s, however.

2012 (PG-13)

The late, great planet Earth:
A thoroughly destroyable show

It's not so much that the Earth is destroyed, but that it's done so thoroughly. "2012," the mother of all disaster movies (and the father, and the extended family) spends half an hour on ominous set-up scenes (scientists warn, strange events occur, prophets rant and of course a family is introduced) and then unleashes two hours of cataclysmic special events hammering the Earth relentlessly.

Skin (PG-13)

Cry, the beloved daughter:
the black child of white parents

I remember the story of Sandra Laing. I lived in Cape Town during 1965, the year this film begins, and it was all over the South African newspapers. Sandra was the daughter of white Afrikaners, the descendents of the country's original Dutch settlers.

Pirate Radio (R)

Rock 'n' roll radio on the high seas

Before we get to the movie, let's assume you're near a computer that has iTunes. Go to "radio," look under "alternative rock," and go down to Radio Caroline. I'll tell you why in a moment. Don't turn it up so loud that it drowns out my review.

The House of the Devil (R)

Babysitter working overtime

Has there ever been a movie where a teenage baby-sitter enjoyed a pleasant evening? And a non-demonic child? Sam gets a break in "The House of the Devil." She discovers there isn't a baby at all. Only the aged mother of Mr. Ulman, a sinister man played by Tom Noonan, who is my choice to portray The Judge in Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian, and if you have read that gruesome masterpiece, there is nothing more I need say about Mr. Ulman.

Gentlemen Broncos (PG-13)

At yeast it's got Jennifer Coolidge

As an amateur collector of the titles of fictional novels in movies, I propose that this one has the worst of all time: Yeast Lords: The Bronco Years. You say you smiled? Me, too, and there are precious few smiles and laughs in "Gentlemen Broncos," which is not a very good movie title, either, although it might work for an X-rated film. The author of Yeast Lords is a teenager named Benjamin, who writes science fiction and idolizes a famous sci-fi novelist named Dr. Ronald Chevalier as much as I once, and still do, admire the Good Doctor Asimov.

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The Exiles (No MPAA rating) (11/11) »

Disney's A Christmas Carol (PG) (11/5) »

Precious (R) (11/4) »

The Men Who Stare at Goats (R) (11/4) »

The Box (PG-13) (11/5) »

(Untitled) (R) (11/4) »

The Fourth Kind (PG-13) (11/4) »

The Horse Boy (No MPAA rating) (11/4) »

This Is It (PG) (10/27) »

Bronson (10/28) »

The Yes Men Fix the World (No MPAA rating) (10/28) »